Humour makes the world go round. But some jokes are simply funnier than others. And, while this is entirely subjective and based on one’s sense of humour and cultural background, there have been numerous attempts to identify the World’s Funniest Joke.
A recent poll conducted on Facebook served a number of top jokes to a thirty-six thousand strong online audience and asked them to select their favourite joke. The responses were predictably varied, but one joke emerged as the ‘funniest’. Drum roll.
Unofficially The World’s Funniest Joke
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ”Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!” The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ”The driver just insulted me!” The man says: ”You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
Now whether this is actually the funniest joke in the world or not, is debatable; but it’s funny regardless. What is beyond argument is the fact that having a good laugh is good for your body, mind and spirit.
So, with that in mind, below are five of our own personal favourite jokes. So, relax and enjoy.
A Snail With An Attitude
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on his porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says; “What the hell was that all about?”
A Genie & An Idiot
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’
You’re One In A Million
China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you!
Kid Versus Barber
A young boy enters a barbershop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’
Racing A Bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’ ‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’
If you haven’t at least had a chuckle by now, you might want to get a doctor to check whether or not you actually have a funny bone!